I have a Secret…

“To keep your secret is wisdom; to expect others to is folly.”William Samuel Johnson


Secrets.

Let me start off by saying this: I do not keep secrets to hurt other people; I keep them to protect myself. I in no way mean to hide and deceive people, but some things other people simply do not need to know.

Example: Person A suffers a Disability. Person B is not aware, but that info isn’t important to how both parties work around each other. However, if Person B finds out, the Social Dynamic will very likely change, and cause issues. Not because the Disability itself is relevant, but because how Person B now views Person A.


Trust.

Even in families (especially in families), kids will team up against one another. I grew up with five-six siblings at once. I was in the middle someone. And I learned pretty quick how important trust was.

It went like this, the oldest kid and second bullying the third. Usually, this was simply for entertainment, because telling someone they are adopted really gives a funny reaction (I am being very sarcastic here). But on occasion is was manipulation, because being the top dog in a gang of children is affirming to one’s ego.

Whatever the case, Trust was an important factor in my survival of childhood. Because I quickly found out it didn’t exist.

That’s where secrets first came into play: I would have secrets that I used against others, mainly as bait. That way I had a security if someone turned on me. But I also had secrets that no one knew, and they never will.

But it’s a little different when you finally find someone you can trust.


I have a secret. Or…. had.

Because I trust Roger completely, I let him know. And I don’t regret that. Because he and I are so close; if he ever told my secret, there would be far more at stake than the betrayal of my privacy.

On that note, I would like to mention that I did give him permission to tell one other person… And that was where I messed up.

I could trust Roger. But this other person I didn’t know as well. But Roger seemed to think it would be okay.

We were both shocked.

 

I will not say what my secret is here. Because so far as I know, it isn’t out of hand yet. And even though I’m pretty anonymous on here, I can’t take risks.

But I will say: that person told many others, in casual conversation, as gossip. And those people have spread it a little further, so now some people who I have never set eyes on know about my personal life.

And you know what? It wouldn’t matter so much… if I wasn’t named. If the conversation was kept as: “Oh, I know of a person…” But no, it went: “So-in-so, who is a friend of…”

All I can hope… is that it never gets back to my family… or the people I am staying with now… or others at work. If that happens? Gosh, I don’t even know. I don’t want to think about it.


Mitch

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