Never Assume

Anthony was born with a very quiet voice, and also kinda high. So throughout childhood, he rarely spoke.

He hated that every time he asked at the dinner table “Could you please pass the ____?” that someone would respond, “Speak up. I can’t hear you.” He hated it so much, that if the food he wanted was not within reach, he simply wouldn’t eat.

Recently. he was in a skype call with a few people he had just met. One person kept bringing up very uncomfortable subjects, including religion and suicide (not at the same time), and during it all, a comment was made concerning gender.

Three people in the call, and the girl says “You know, it’s really odd being the only one here that identifies as female. Even if you guys aren’t biological men.”

Anthony was shocked. And the other guy was also speechless. But after a quick recovery, Anthony spoke “I was born male.” to which the other guy agreed. “Me too.”

The girl, obviously not seeing her offense, continued. “It’s not like it matters to me if you have all the parts. I will respect if you both want to be called men.”

For the next two minutes, the conversation continued like that. Her talking and saying highly offensive things in her ignorance. But she wouldn’t listen to correction, no matter how much Anthony tried. And she continued using triggering words, that would cause anyone to question their masculinity.

Anthony left the Skype call. He was already dysphoric about his high pitched voice, but being assumed that he was transgender because of it made it that much worse.

By implying he might not have been born with male genitals, she caused this boy so much pain. The thoughts came to him screaming “You are not a real man!”

And the hatred he already had for himself grew ten times in those two minutes. Now refuses to talk on the phone, or open his mouth to sing. Every last bit of confidence he had finally acquired, she shredded with her ignorance and assumptions.

And it really doesn’t matter if Anthony is a biological male or not. That’s not the point. The point is, you should not assume anything about people. Much less, openly put that label on them. It doesn’t matter what you think; until they have confirmed it, you have no right.

And even if they have told you “Yeah, I am transgender.” You don’t make remarks that imply they are any less then what gender they identify as. They aren’t freaks. They are human like you. And like you, words hurt them too.


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