I have very few people that I trust enough to be called friends. And my existence this year has depended on them. But lately, we haven’t been talking much.
Each person has their own reason, own problems that keep them away, but it’s been lonely. My only desire for this month was to reestablish contact with them, and let them know I’m still here for when they get a chance.
Waiting. That’s been my whole life. Waiting for something to change, or for a circumstance to get better. But sometimes waiting doesn’t bring the desired ‘reward’. Sometimes, it just leaves you empty.
The day before yesterday, I texted each of my close friends, including my brother. Yesterday, two of them texted back.
The reunion was nice, especially with my brother. Things had happened back around Thanksgiving that left him very detached. I had feared he would never feel again. But yesterday, we played a game.
Since we are on opposite sides of the nation, there isn’t much I can do for him besides phone calls, and encouraging texts. But he’s recently been really into MMOs, so he invited me to play.
It was a blast. When I was much younger, I had played it before, but not for more than a week. But this time, since I wasn’t playing alone, I was able to get into it.
We roamed around the map, posing awkwardly and taking pictures, explored everything, and just had fun. Then we headed over to the establishment of a friend of his. There, we hung out, chatted, and laughed our asses off.
Oh, the cringiness of it all. I tell you, I’ve never been so gay in my life. I completely blame my brother for infecting me with his homosexual soul. XD
Anyways, we both laughed so hard, and there were many times neither of us were breathing. It was a blast. I was up until 0600 my time.
But even though I was exhausted the next day, to hear him laugh after everything that’s been happening, was everything to me. Kept me moving through the day, even though I was falling asleep. Just looking forward to that night when I would get to play with him again.
And if you ever read this, Bro… I love you. Don’t you ever forget it. And don’t you ever stop smiling. Your smile alone is enough to knock me out of my depressed state.