Sleepless, Friends, and Headaches

Most people sleep at least 6 hours when they sleep. Some get 8 hours. Me? I get 4. Consistently.

This wasn’t always the case, as I have previously stated. When I was still in school, I would sleep up to 13 hours. But these days, it’s always 4. Never longer, and only shorter when someone or something wakes me.

It’s like a toaster. 4 hours cook, then pop. All done.

And it doesn’t matter how tired I am. When it happens, I am wide awake. And it takes a while to get back to sleep. Only sometimes I am able to go back to sleep, but once again after 4 hours? Boom. I am awake.

It’s consistent now. And it has been for 4 years.

Anxiety is probably the main cause of most of my health issues, including this one. Why I have anxiety is for another time though. It would take too long, and this blog is too new to discuss something so serious.

To stay in control of my mind when I am anxious, I often do something very routine that requires no thought. Like solve a Rubik’s Cube, or rearrange/organize a part of my room, or even send a text to a long distance friend and going over casual questions. “How are you? What did you do today?” That’s how I deal with it.

I spend a lot of time talking to friends I that live in different time zones. Because with work all day, and being sleepless at odd hours in the night, the people I talk to the most are online.

Lots of the time if it’s past midnight for me, they tell me to sleep. And if that happens, I just laugh, because they don’t understand. But that’s okay, as long as I can talk with someone. And after a little convincing of how awake I am, they usual give up.

I find I use my friends a lot that way. More as distractions than actual friends. Which… kinda sucks. I don’t want to be that person that always takes advantage of others. That’s wrong.

And that’s not the case. But that’s how it feels sometimes. Because I always grew up where people were using me. So I figured that’s how life is. Use, and be used. But that isn’t true. Some people actually care.

And I have two friends that I know they actually care about me. Even though I can’t always give back. But that story is for another time.

Recently, I have been suffering headaches. Not quite migraines, because the pain isn’t consistent. And as far as I can tell from research, actual migraines last longer, and the pain is more leveled.

The pain I experience is constant pressure, and then a random sharp stab. Like the nail-pulling side of a hammer hitting right behind my left ear. And it affects my sight, hearing, and breathing.

I get brown-outs, and sometimes I fall over. And my ears have a high ringing in them. Also, I believe the pressure build up in my head is putting so much strain on my sinuses that my nose begins to bleed.

I don’t know what is going on. And as things stands now, all I have available to learn is the internet. I have no money or insurance for actual medical advice.



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